Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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