Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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