woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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