Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize