Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
