According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
