best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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