Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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