so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
