her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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