The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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