Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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