My room smells like vodka and shame
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
