I'm really into asian looking animals
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
