she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
