can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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