If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
