That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
