I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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