it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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