how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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