so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
