I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Nicole vs. Life
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize