He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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