I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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