pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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