You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
