Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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