you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize