If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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