Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
