I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
