remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
