Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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