I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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