is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize