if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
