Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
