Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
