I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
