How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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