This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
