i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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