in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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