Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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