How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
