She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
honey bunches of taint.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just gargled with NyQuil
I vomited out my contact lenses last night