Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours