I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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