i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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