How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
