guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
