My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
