Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Randomize
