guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
