YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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