Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
