She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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