Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
