So drunk its hurt
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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