Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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